Thank you for coming into my life and changing my perspectives on certain things about love and responsibility.
Before I married my husband, I told him to make sure that he was marrying me for who I was that day, and not for any future changes he hoped to have wrought in me through the “transforming” power of marriage. Though we were both young, I had seen enough unhappy marriages to make me wary of the institution, and who wants to be institutionalized, really? I had no question that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but I wanted us to start off with as little illusion as possible. I wanted to know that he saw me, and not some airbrushed version of a girl to be placed on a pedestal. It is easy to fall in love if you believe all the fairy tales and movies. Beautiful women with flowing hair and flawless skin meet muscled men with pure hearts and chivalrous intentions and they ride off to his manor with servants aplenty…
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When speaking about relationships, we often discuss what would make someone a good man or what would make them a good woman in terms of being a partner. I think what often goes overlooked, is the introspective aspect of building a solid foundation with someone, and what it really means to be “ready” for a relationship.
It doesn’t matter if you find the man or woman of your dreams if you’re not ready to have them in your life. It also brings about the possibility of the harsh truth that they may not be interested in you in return, if you’re not in the right place emotionally.
So, what does this all look like?
You will be as good as you can, as often as you can.
I was going to say “you’re ready to do your best for someone, every day” but let’s be realistic – we are…
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When I was in my early 20’s, I went through a very dark period in my life. It was like every bad thing that had ever happened finally caught up to me and I couldn’t deny it any longer. I sank into a deep depression, thought often about dying and just about gave up on life. I haven’t thought much about that time in awhile but it all came back to me after I read a post by Laurie at Come Up Higher called Stay Here With Me. In it she talks about a time in her life when she too wanted to die. In the post she introduces us to a spoken word poet named Andrea Gibson, who in one line summed up my life back then: But when I thought I hit bottom it started hitting back.
This was in the early 90’s, before the internet, before…
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She will always be the girl who loved you….UNCONDITIONALLY…